Valentine’s Day is Tuesday! This article pertains to every relationship! I’m imparting a lot of wisdom today, so make sure you have a pen and paper handy because you’ll want to jot some things down!
Relationships are huge. Unless you’re an android or some kind of robot, your connection to others is a major contributing factor to the quality of life you have as a thinking, feeling “being.”
While there are so many different types of relationships, the foundation of all relationships is the same. It always begins and ends with you.
What you contribute to a relationship is what you will get out of it. If you give of yourself, then your relationships will thrive.
But why does it have to start with me? What about what the other people are doing?
The Law of Attraction is what makes all of this possible and true. The Law says that what you give, you receive. If you are giving love or positivity in any relationship, you will receive life results that are in line with what you have been thinking and feeling. If you are adamant about waiting for other people to do their part, what you expect from them, in order for you to be happy – you’re going to be waiting for a long time; that is, until you start the conversation.
Are your relationships working FOR YOU?
I hear people complain all the time about how this relationship and that relationship aren’t working.
To blame others is to focus on and exist in negativity, which can and will only produce more of that. Well, he/she is so mean to me; he’s/she’s power-hungry and he/she doesn’t care about anyone but himself/herself. Sadly, I hear this too often. Look at that statement. “He’s/She’s this” and “he’s/she’s that” and he/she, he/she, he/she; nothing about “me” or “I.”
It is important to note that blaming others for their roles in your various relationships is useless and will not produce the relationship you desire. To gain the relationship circumstances that you desire, YOU need to think, feel and administer them, FIRST. With one simple question, “And what are you doing about that?” the responsibility of that person’s participation in the relationship in question is immediately deflected to the actions or lack of actions from the other person or persons involved.
Write this down. What am I doing about that?
“I don’t know – I guess I’ll have to find a new job (or new relationship).”
So instead of taking responsibility for our own roles in toxic relationships, we think we just need to be removed from that relationship. Some of you may agree with that thinking, but I have to tell you – I have seen too many times where the same people keep finding problems in their various relationships and they never understand that the problem is THEM.
No matter what type of relationship you may have an issue with, it all begins and ends with you. I am about to share the true magic that exists when you understand the power of your involvement in any and every relationship you will ever have.
Consider this a check-up for you to reflect on your relationships, whether with family, friends, colleagues or romantic partners and see which ones are lacking in love and think of ways that YOU can INFUSE them with love.
Relationships are the ultimate reciprocation – what you give to them is what you get out of them. Love a little, get a little love. Love a lot, and get a lot back.
All relationships thrive or fail based on their level of communication.
In all of your relationships, effective communication will give you peace and clarity, always.
Effective Communication includes active listening on both parts.
Active listening includes eye contact. Get your face out of your phone or tablet and look at your partner when they speak to you, unless you’re out of the room or can’t see them.
When they speak, especially if they’re telling you something and conveying a lot of emotion, repeat back to them what they’ve said to confirm you understood their message clearly, since it could have very easily been missed through their emotional delivery.
If your counterpart is repeating back to you and they’re incorrect, do not get angry – get clear. Their attempt at repeating your message back to you is an obvious attempt at understanding what was said and being undividedly present with you. Be kind, be sweet and be gentle. You are behaving from The Center of Gratitude – why would you be mean to them?
Professional Relationships “with gratitude”
Whether you’re the boss or the employee, you’re in a relationship. And most often, this is the relationship that affects your other relationships the most. If you’re mad at your boss on Friday, you take your frustrations home with you and let them out on your partner and/or your family and those feelings could potentially ruin your weekend. If you’re mad at your employees, you do the same to your nearest and dearest.
By working with gratitude, your professional relationships evolve into those of respect, understanding, compassion and empowerment.
To the employers, your support staff isn’t incompetent, they aren’t onboard to sabotage your efforts and their primary goal is to SUPPORT YOU. It’s hard to support someone who just seems to keep tearing you down.
Don’t be a horrible boss.
Be the boss every person on a support team wishes for.
It isn’t enough to get a paycheck for work performed. Every person who is employed expects a check. Their paycheck is not conditional based upon the degree of work they do – they show up – they work – they get paid. However, if you think for one second that you can speak to a so-called underling however you choose and if you think that they will continue to take abuse and mistreatment from you, you are mistaken and you’ll be looking for a replacement very soon because that person will quit – because of YOU; every relationship begins and ends with YOU.
Take pride in how you treat others.
Help the bottom line of your company by implementing a few meaningful changes; changes that will reduce turnover and will make your corporate culture thrive.
What motivates employees to do a great job is either the intrinsic motivator of personal pride or the desire to perform so well that the extrinsic motivator of receiving praise from their boss occurs, or both. Unless you work on commission, your paycheck is not motivating you to go above and beyond your job description.
THANK EMPLOYEES AND YOUR CO-WORKERS ALL THE TIME FOR THE JOBS THAT THEY DO!
Gratitude is not hierarchal.
It doesn’t have to be a big production. Go to their desks, don’t email them, and within earshot of their co-workers, praise them for what they’ve done for you that day or that week. Look them in the eye with sincere gratitude and thank them for coming in and doing a great job. You will walk through your office in disbelief of how many smiles and salutations you receive from happy employees – all because everyone is working with gratitude.
Thank you for making it to this point in my article – I know this one was a little longer than usual. Let’s review what we’ve read:
- All relationships begin and end with YOU.
- When any relationship is not what you want it to be, its changes start with YOU. Ask yourself, “What am I doing about that?”
- Gratitude will give you everything you give, first. From your grateful heart, GIVE just because, and the universe will reciprocate by giving you an ultimate life.
- By seeing your employees and coworkers as people and remembering that they too, need love and admiration, give thanks for each unique quality they each bring to your business and your corporate culture will thrive!
- Finally, every successful relationship thrives because of effective communication. Ears up, eyes forward and check-in to the person or people you’re engaging with.
Be sure to tune in to The Center of Gratitude Radio Show every Monday at 10:00 EST for my podcast “with gratitude.” I have a very special Valentine’s Day episode planned for you, which, on February 13, is all about relationships! Grab your love, grab a friend, and definitely grab some chocolate as you “tune in” to “tune up” all of your relationships!
Together, we CAN and WILL change the world, WITH GRATITUDE!
Johnny Bergstrom, Msc.D, AMDA
The Gratitude Guru, Johnny Bergstrom, Msc.D, is a Doctor of Metaphysics, Enlightened Master, Host of The Center of Gratitude Radio Show and Member of the American Metaphysical Doctors Association.
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